Earlier today my oldest son (who works in construction), fell at work and cut open the back of his leg. At first he thought it was a minor cut, so he proceeded to get in the car to head to the next job site. After just a few minutes he realized he was getting light headed and pulled over quickly. When I answered the phone we had a bad signal, but I got as much of his words to know that he was hurt and needed me to come take him to the doctor. He is a tough young man, who works very hard at his job (with a bunch of other tough guys who frequently give him opportunities to "practice patience"), but he said "Pop, I need you here".
There are a few different ways that he could have responded to that situation. He could have kept driving (and likely gotten in an accident and hurt himself further as well as possibly others). He could have pulled over and just tried to wait it out until he felt better. He could have called a friend or co-worker to help him. Instead he chose to call his Dad. Sometimes it is hard to ask for help, and it takes a certain degree of humility. Even when we do ask others for help, we do not always do so with a willingness to accept the help they offer (we sometimes ask people to help just in the way that we want).
This appears to be the same in the spiritual dimension as well. Many (very many) people get themselves into spiritual difficulties and refuse to ask for help. Of those who do ask for help, many of them only want one kind of help (their kind). If someone offers another solution to their problem, they treat them as though they refused to help. Someone once came to me and asked for help with a spiritual problem he was having. When I told him what the Church says about dealing with that problem, he got upset with me. He claimed that I "refused" to help him and said I "didn't care" about him. In other words, he already decided what was best and just wanted me to agree with him.
I know of many people who are struggling with various things in their lives (parenting problems, addictions, confusion, etc.) and I have reached out to them to offer help, but they often refuse to be helped. Some have slipped into thinking that there is no way to help (which is usually wrong) or that others are not really willing to help (which is also usually wrong). When we settle into our problems and make "peace agreements" with them it is comparable to saying that God is not able to use others to help us. Christ wants us to have peace, in all things; we cannot ignore that truth.
How do you respond to it when you find yourself in a spiritual difficulty? It is common for people to be embarrassed about asking others for help; even from their priest. Many today think that they can handle it themselves and go about trying to deal with spiritual issues on their own (which is even more dangerous than self-diagnosing physical ailments). Part of what the Church is here for is to help each other on the path to Heaven. In the gospel yesterday, Jesus spoke of those who obey the will of God being like His family. Living like family means helping one another as brother and sister. It also means accepting the spiritual father as just that: the Father of the parish (i.e. someone you can get advice from!).
Jesus created us to live in community; for it is "not good for man to be alone". He wants us to spend enough time in each other's lives to know each other. He wants the Church to be the place where you have your closest relationships, and where you know you can always find others who care about you and are willing to help you when you are in need. He wants us to notice when someone in the parish is in need, as well as to be willing to ask others for help. Pride keeps us apart, both when we refuse to notice, and when we refuse to ask.
In the end, my son's injury was not as bad as he had worried, but it was good that we were able to go help him. In the same way we need to be available for each other. Do you know the person you sit near in Church each week? Do you notice when someone is not there (and what do you do about it)? Is there anyone in the parish that you could reach out to when you need help or advice? How would you respond if a fellow parishioner that you see each week asked for help? We are not supposed to be a nameless group of people who come together on Sunday, but really have no other connection to each other's lives. Those who obey the will of God are Jesus' "mother, and sister, and brother"; let us live like it.
