I once heard a priest admit: "although I work hard to be blameless in my interactions with children and with women, I am constantly concerned that someone will make a false accusation against me and that my ministry will be destroyed by it" (in case you did not know, a number of the accusations made today are found to be false). Now most of the priests I know are not that deeply fearful of being falsely accused, but I suspect that the concern is genuine in every one of us. Of course, there are likely some priests out there who have already fallen into deep sin, and are not concerned about "false accusations" because there is every reason for them to be rightly accused. Those are not the ones that I am writing about here.
Whenever one of my brother priests falls into sexual sin, it is like a knife to my heart. His behavior does not affect him only, it affects the entire Church. Although I am certainly concerned for those who are the victims of this kind of abuse, I want here just to speak about the impact that the recent "scandal" has had on other priests. This is what we might call the collateral damage of the "scandal". This came to the light for me more than once when I was sitting in the confessional with someone who chose the "face to face" side rather than behind the screen. No, I was not being tempted in any way, but I briefly had the thought go through my mind that the potential for a false accusation was there.
One of the worst aspects of this is that a priest must be concerned about his behavior in a way that impacts his ability to reach out with genuine love and compassion to the members of his flock. If a priest is always concerned that his love for his people might be misunderstood (or worse, twisted for someone else's selfish ends), it makes it difficult to be a "father" to his people. A wall is created between he and them that makes proper ministry a challenge. Yes, I already know that priests cannot have genuine "friends" in the parish (in case you did know this, it is because it is a hindrance to his ability to assert his authority with a friend), but he still should be able to be a loving father to them. There is, after all, a proper way for a spiritual father to love his people and let them know that he cares for them, which has nothing to do with any immoral or abusive behavior.
The relationship between priest and parishioner has changed dramatically over the last few decades, and I am fairly sure that it is for the worse. It is like someone suddenly threw a large number of marbles up around the altar during Mass and told the priest, "continue with the Mass, don't look at the marbles, and certainly don't step on any of them" and yet expects him to go on with his duties without missing a beat. I will confess I have felt it a few different times; a woman comes to me and asks me to counsel her on something in private, and while speaking to her I begin to get concerned about saying something that will offend her. "What if I make her upset and she flips out and accuses me of sexual advances?" No, I do not think this every time someone approaches me, but even just once means that ministry is impacted because this is not a healthy way for a priest to think about his people.
Even when I am not in the confessional, there is still an impact that only a priest feels. There are the "looks" that I sometimes get. Yes, it is less common here in southern Missouri than in other places I have been, but they are still there. The "look" that assumes all Priests do the exact same thing; the look that says, "I heard about someone who was abused by a Catholic Priest, so you must be an abuser as well" has been thrown at me more than once when I am at the store or in a restaurant. This obviously effects how I reach out to those who are not in the Church. I often find myself questioning whether that "look" is going to be followed by a fist (or worse). Catholic priests tell the world to repent; we already have enough reason for people to hate us, we do not need any more. Then this concern about what others think of the priesthood (and me in particular) becomes a concern for whether my parishioners think this way; it is a vicious cycle.
Therefore, what is the solution? The damage has been done, and that cannot be changed. I go about, day after day, trying to be faithful in my calling. Seeking to make sure that I am blameless when I interact with people (especially women and children). Our image as priests (not to mention the Church as a whole) has been tarnished and it is not going to be cleaned up overnight. It will take years (maybe generations) to restore confidence in the priesthood to the level that it was years ago. Yet, it will not happen if all we do is keep behaving like we always have. Priests need to accept the current context and work even harder to be pure in all their actions; laity need to recognize the struggle that priests have and seek to help by not trying to place them in a situation that makes them concerned about what they might be accused of. Together, let us work to restore things the way that they should be, a local family of the people of God. For we have a job to do; we are supposed to be calling this fallen world to serve Christ the Lord.
