Have you learned how to suffer yet? It might sound like an odd question, but the truth of the matter is, from my experience, very few people know how to suffer. Yes, everyone can suffer, but not everyone knows "how" to suffer; by which I mean "suffering in the right way". During my time as a Protestant, I recall many times when I would preach on suffering. There were times when it was well received, and there were times when, shall I say . . . it was less than well received. This is understandable, because no one (except those who are mentally depraved) likes to suffer or see others suffer. It is, sadly, common in these days for people to be confused about the grace of suffering.
Let us just begin with the basic fact of Christ's suffering. It was, as we all know, of great merit. The sufferings of Christ are, as we read so many times, worthy of saving the whole world. Our suffering is also of value, if we "suffer rightly". The Apostle Paul points out the merit of our suffering in the book of Colossians when he mentions his own sufferings being able to help others in the Church (Col 1:24). This, of course, requires that we offer up the suffering, and not let it "go to waste". We could, after all, experience something painful, and be so wrapped up in our self-pity that we never actually offer the suffering to the Lord. This would be comparable to me buying medicine for someone who is sick, and then throwing it away without giving any to the sick person.
Here is an example of suffering in "the wrong way": let us imagine someone who has lost a loved one. He has gone through the grieving process, and followed the Church's guidelines on this: vigil service, funeral Mass, and Christian burial. Yet, afterward he still feels great pain for what has happened. He worries about the soul of his loved one, and is not sure how to find hope. As he struggles, he reaches out for help from his priest. This all sounds normal, but what has he done to offer the pain up to the Lord? Much of the description above shows this man only dealing with his pain because he wants it to be gone. He may gain some personal spiritual benefit from his experience, but it is not "given" to God so that the value of his pain can be applied to others as well.
All suffering can be of value, but much of that value is often lost because we "waste" the pain by focusing on ourselves. When, however, someone goes through the same process as in the previous paragraph, but from the beginning presents it to God, things change. He would pray something similar to the following: "Lord, this really hurts, but I know that You never give us more than we can handle. I know that there is a purpose for this bad experience, even if I do not know what that is. Therefore, I ask that you would help me overcome this grief, but in the meantime, please help me to endure with the patience and love of Jesus, so that You can receive my suffering and use its merit for the good of others."
No, I do not say that these are easy words, but they are good words. They are important words, for they enable the speaker to find perspective in what he is going through. The enable him to focus his grief, and seek for the entire experience to be virtuous. This helps him to heal more easily, as well as (likely) more quickly. It also helps one to grow in faith, hope, and love, granting him the grace of coming closer to Christ. Recall how we are told many times in Scripture that we will be raised to glory with Christ, as long as we "suffer with Him". That does not mean just to "suffer as well as" Jesus, but genuinely "with" Him, for in this we unite our sufferings to His (as the liturgy for the funeral Mass says).
Therefore, I ask once again, "how do you suffer?" Is your suffering purposeful? Is its value and merit being used for others? Do you seek to join with the sufferings of Christ? If these are not true, then you are not "suffering rightly". True, it is hard to keep this in mind right in the midst of suffering, but this is the reason why it is so important to think about it before the suffering begins. Let us each prepare ourselves to be able to stand firm with our Lord Christ when that pain arrives, and let us, with Him, offer our sufferings up to God the Father in Heaven. This is what leads to the true glory of God.
