Criticism; no one likes to receive it, but we all know we need it at times. When you receive a criticism, how do you respond to it? Do you get upset and find ways to defend yourself (even if the criticism is accurate?)? Or, do you respond with humility and acknowledge that we can always learn from a criticism? Much of what makes us respond in a certain way is how the criticism is given. Even an accurate criticism can be delivered in a way that prevents it from being properly received (and thus completely wasting the criticism).
We should all consider what the right way is to criticize, as well as when we should criticize. Many today want to criticize the Bishops who have failed to bring proper discipline and/or have genuinely covered up grave sins. If, however, we proceed to criticize in a manner that is unhelpful (or even downright sinful), then we will be wasting the effort. It is comparable to serving a wonderful meal on dirty dishes; no one wants to eat it no matter how nice the meal itself happens to be.
Let us, then, ask the first question. When should you criticize a clergyman, and when should you not do so? It all depends on the particular circumstances. Some things are just "fishy" and it is obvious that a gentle criticism is needed; other things are a matter of personal preference (regardless of how passionate you are about it) and should be left alone. For example: you should criticize any priest's desire to be alone with your teen son; you should not criticize his choice of time for the Easter Mass. Another: you should criticize a priest who rejects Church dogma; but you should not criticize when a priest explains the Church's teaching just because it causes you personal inconvenience.
The real issue at hand is, what exactly is the subject matter that you are criticizing about? Many have told me that they could never criticize a priest -- by which, they mean, in regard to an issue of Church dogma or liturgy. This is generally a good thing, but what if the priest does something that all can tell is a grave disobedience (like, for example, allowing a woman to preach the homily in Mass)? Should you "just let it go" and leave it between him and God? No. If the Church has said "no" then the answer is "no" even if the priest does not like it. If you are unsure of the Church's position, then ask (you can ask the priest himself, or find another whom you know will be honest with you).
Then we have to ask the next question: how does one properly criticize a clergyman? It is not something that is easy to explain, but the simple principle of "always with humility" is essential. The manner of the criticism is key; anger or pride, should never be part of a criticism (to anyone). You must always show respect for the clergyman's position before God; any other manner of criticism is unacceptable and is like an attack on the Church itself. Deacons, Priests, and Bishops all sin, and at times need to be corrected, but that does not mean that you can do so with a domineering pride. Sometimes a simple question that asks for an explanation of a behavior or decision is all that is necessary.
So then, it is possible to criticize and correct, if done in the right way and for the right reasons. If the subject matter is of a nature that a criticism is necessary, then be sure to approach it in the right manner. Ask someone else about his opinion of things before you jump into it (at least in most matters; do not wait even a second if the priest is aiming at abusing someone). Never be presumptuous or prideful, and always recognize that you too may fall (even in the midst of your criticism). This is the only way that we can help one another on the path of holiness.
