For I tell you, unless your righteousness exceeds that of the scribes and Pharisees, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven. You have heard that it was said to the men of old, 'You shall not kill; and whoever kills shall be liable to judgment.' But I say to you that every one who is angry with his brother shall be liable to judgment; whoever insults his brother shall be liable to the council, and whoever says, 'You fool!' shall be liable to the hell of fire. So if you are offering your gift at the altar, and there remember that your brother has something against you, leave your gift there before the altar and go; first be reconciled to your brother, and then come and offer your gift. Make friends quickly with your accuser, while you are going with him to court, lest your accuser hand you over to the judge, and the judge to the guard, and you be put in prison; truly, I say to you, you will never get out till you have paid the last penny (Matt 5:20-26).Today's gospel reading is quite powerful. It essentially tells us "refusing to reconcile with those you are at odds with has eternal consequences". There are only a few things that Jesus says make a person subject to eternal Hell, and lack of reconciliation is one of them. This is why it is even stated in the Lord's prayer: "forgive us our trespasses, as we forgive those who trespass against us"; and this is so important that Jesus even gives an essential commentary on it: if we do not forgive others, God will not forgive us. Hence, if the harsher issue (being sinned against) necessitates us granting forgiveness, then the lesser is even more so: if we merely are offended or upset by something that someone else has done, then we absolutely must reconcile.
We could take Jesus words lightly and say "I do not need to reconcile with him because he will never listen to me", but that is definitely not what the Lord says here. In fact, if we take His words at face value we are led to say that anyone who rejects a plea for reconciliation is most assuredly out of the grace of God. The encouragements in the first letter of John to "love our brother" have application here. It says that if we cannot love the brother we see, then we cannot love the God we do not see. In like fashion, if we refuse to reconcile with a brother, then we are also refusing reconciliation with God. This is why those who are impenitent about reconciliation are not allowed to receive communion.
The heart of this whole matter is love for neighbor, and this is seen in the stern warnings in this gospel reading about the evils of being angry. Love for our brethren means that we want to reconcile, and we will bend over backwards to accomplish it; not run away and avoid it. If someone takes to social media to spread their anger, then you can be fairly sure that they are not acting in love. In fact, Jesus says that slandering or attacking a brother makes one "liable to . . . hell". In other words, if you get angry with a brother or sister in Christ and you are going around speaking evil of him to others, you are in grave sin and your heart is infected with the pride of the devil himself. This is a very dangerous state to be in. In essence, Jesus is telling us that we must work out our disagreements clearly, quickly, peacefully, and humbly. Anything less is sinful.
Notice how the admonition toward the middle of the passage says if our brother has something against us, then we should go and reconcile. It is not clear in this scenario who has done something wrong, it is just a matter of whether someone has a "problem" with us. We are supposed to try our hardest to achieve reconciliation. There are certainly times when someone will have the desire to reconcile, and even plead with his "opponent" to sit down to work things out, and yet the other party refuses to do so. No one is held accountable for another's unwillingness, but we each must try to accomplish that reconciliation. Woe unto the one who refuses. This passage is clear in its point: those who do this will have to "pay" for their sins in some way.
What then, does reconciliation look like? Agreeing to part ways is not genuine reconciliation. It may be a peace measure (and it may not be!), but it is not actual reconciliation. When we reconcile with the Lord in the Sacrament of Confession, does the Lord tell us that afterward we must "go our separate ways" and not speak anymore? No. That is not reconciliation, that is more akin to divorce than anything else. If at the end of a disagreement the two parties are not even able to attend the same Church, then reconciliation has not occurred. We are commanded by our Lord to reconcile, and not allow anything to prevent our hearts from being willing to do so.
Reconciliation means coming together, forgiving where forgiveness is needed and finding a lasting peace between the parties. Would any one of us want to settle for anything less when it comes to reconciling with God? Of course not; and God is not willing to settle for anything less between His children. This is one of the reasons why my wife and I taught our children, from their youngest years, what the process of reconciliation looks like. They had to know, step by step, how to reconcile with a brother or sister whom they had wronged. We must be a "reconciling" people. This means a people who are willing to go to the Sacrament of Confession to reconcile with God, because we have already been reconciling with our brother.
So then, which are you? Are you one who is like the Pharisees that always "knew" they were right and everyone else was wrong? Are you one who looks down on your brothers and sisters who do not do what you want them to do? Are you one who holds a grudge and makes sure that everyone else knows about it? Or are you, rather, one who loves his brothers? Are you one who knows that his own eternal destiny depends on reconciliation; both with God and man? If you are the latter, and you realize you are in need of reconciliation, go now and make peace. It is the way of salvation in Christ.
