I have read quite a bit of information about Natural Family Planning; some helpful, some not so much. My wife and I never actually practiced NFP since our philosophy was, "just let God give us as many children as He wants to, and trust Him in all of it". I have met a few other Catholic couples who have the same perspective, and it is quite refreshing to see (especially since it was pretty much the only position until the last century!). While the Church is working hard to teach the evils of any form of artificial contraception, and seeking to promote natural family planning, it seems to me that something has gone awry.
Someone once said to me, after I had given an explanation of NFP, that it seemed that the only difference it had with artificial contraception was that it was natural. "So the Church just wants us using natural contraception?" At first I saw it merely as a naive misunderstanding of things. Then, after a time, I began to find out that vast numbers of married couples were using NFP as a "Church approved contraception". They were still contracepting, just doing so in the way the Church approved of. They were not using NFP to put "space between" children's births, but to avoid more than their predetermined number of children. Rather than "Natural Family Planning" this should be called "Natural Family Avoiding".
We have become so convinced that children should only come when we want them, and when we decide to have them, that "some form" of contraception is being practiced by most. I am sure that there are couples who have 8, 9, or 10 children that practiced NFP (and not "NFA") but all the ones I met with large families had the "other" perspective I mentioned above: just trust God. Natural Family Planning should not be used to avoid more than two children, but that does seem to be the case in a number of instances.
In fact, much of the material that I have read, and many (not all) of those who teach NFP describe it in these exact terms. Although they never actually say "Church approved contraception", that is the way that it comes across in their talks (I speak from first hand experience). Quite often, the manner that NFP is explained sounds more like "here is the way the Church allows you to trust yourself in contraception"; as though we all know that you certainly cannot trust God in something like that (let Him give you a couple children and the next thing you know you will have 5 or 6!).
NFP is considered a godly practice of spacing out the births of children. One question has not been asked in this subject matter: in this day of modern advancements, great conveniences, and better living conditions, why do we need to "space out the births of children"? I am not saying that there are no advantages to having a certain amount of time between children being born (two of ours were born just a year apart--I know what it is like). I am asking when that became a proper motivation, and what is it that we are trying to achieve? I personally know a woman who had great difficulty after each of her children were born, and I can see a good reason for her to use NFP. Outside of circumstances like that, it seems many are still using NFP for entirely selfish reasons.
Yes, I am probably making a few new "unfriends" in saying this. My goal is not to harm anyone or cause strife and stress, but we each need to look at our motivations in what we do. NFP is supposed to be for promoting godliness, but it is hard to deny that it is used often to support an ungodly attitude, and becomes the very thing that it was developed to avoid: contraception. I even overheard one person encouraging another that "you have to use NFP since the Church does not allow artificial contraception". It was presumed that everyone wants to limit the number of children they have, so this is the holy way to do it.
My dear wife and I have only 5 children. Although we wanted more, that was not how things worked out for us. We rejoice in what God has given us, and are always thankful. Five children is not really that many though (I met an older woman the other day who is number 7 of 14 children, and knew someone years ago who had 19 children). It was not long ago that 8 or 9 was considered a normal Catholic family; nowadays it is almost unheard of. Do we really still believe that children are a blessing of the Lord? Do we really give Him our whole trust; especially in the area of children? What has happened to our hearts?
