One of the major problems of mega-parishes (and often with those that are just "big parishes") is that it is so easy for people to be forgotten. I read a story recently about a woman who had been active in a parish for years and then just quit attending when something bad happened in her life. Not the first time that has happened. The problem arose when no one seemed to notice; if anyone did notice, then they did not say or do anything about it. The woman apparently remained away from the Church for a long time before someone saw her in the store and asked how she was doing; no reference at all to the fact that she had not been to Church in 5 years!
Certainly there are ways to overcome problems like this, but it does not seem that many parishes are even trying. Of those parishes (or sometimes even whole diocese's) who do put an effort into it, it often comes across somewhat "cheesy" and ends up being mostly ineffective. Of course a major effort needs to be done to prevent people from leaving in the first place, but when they do, they need to be sought out, helped, encouraged, and warned (yes, that means we need to tell them the full truth, and not just "c'mon back, it will all be OK"). Abandoning the Church (for whatever reason) is a grave sin and we cannot pretend it is anything else. Yes, I agree, "woe to him by whom" people are driven to abandon the Church, but that is not the subject of this article.
In a "small parish" (less than 75 families) there is always the advantage that when someone does not make it to Mass, almost everyone notices. That dynamic has very few drawbacks. It keeps each of us accountable, and also helps the community to value one another's presence. It also prevents us from becoming a "pew sitter" who just sneaks in the back, attends Mass, and then sneaks out without being spoken to by anyone. In the early Church, every parish was small because they did not have giant Church buildings to meet in. This was likely how the parish model was created; as soon as one Church reaches "critical mass" you start a new parish (a model we would do well to reconsider).
Now I need to be clear: I am not implying that it is inherently wrong to have a large parish (the Heavenly Jerusalem in Revelation 21 is described as a massive community of God's people). The problem arises with the fact that we have fewer priests taking care of more people. Sometimes it is a priest who cares for a single large parish with no other priest to help him (years ago these larger parishes had three or four full time priests) or we have a single priest taking care of multiple parishes (the way that I do -- I have three parishes under my care, and just barely have time to keep tabs on what it going on in each of them).
It was proven long ago that the current shortage of priests is due largely to two things: first, the catechetical disaster of the 70's through the 90's that confused the majority of laity about the Catholic faith as a whole, and second the intentional actions of many sodomites (and possibly communists) to infiltrate the priesthood with immoral men who did not love the Lord. We can thank God (and some very good Bishops) that the tide is turning back to a solidly orthodox priesthood, but it is not there yet. In the meantime, it is hard for priests (who are stretched like "too little butter over too much bread") to be aware of every event in a parish on their own.
Priests are often dependent on input from parishioners: "Father, I haven't seen Mr. Smith lately, how is he?" "Thank you for mentioning him; I haven't seen him for a while either. I'll give him a call." (I always appreciate it when someone helps me this way.) It is always good to be concerned for one another and never presume that someone else will handle it. Yet, this does not mean that the faithful should just hand it off to the priest; each of them, through the grace of the Holy Ghost, can help each other when they are in need in the way that God has enabled them to do so. Yes, only the priest can do certain things, but that does not mean the laity can do nothing (a phone call, or text, can be a great encouragement to a fellow parishioner in need).
Until we see more priests to serve in parishes, or at least more small parishes and fewer "bloated" parishes, we have to be on the lookout for one another. As a retired marine friend of mine always liked to say "I've got your back"; we need to be saying that to one another. As a priest, I am happy to be there for any of my parishioners whenever they need me to do so. That does not mean, however, that the laity are supposed to ignore one another. Large parish or small parish (but especially the large ones) every one of the faithful are bound to each other for their mutual good. The laity are supposed to be helping each other, praying for each other, and reaching out to one another. This is what it means to be the Body of Christ; this is what it means to live in community.
